2014. For the first time in my children's lives, they got to live in the same house at the same time. It was stolen season.
2010 we went to Texas,
2011 we can back. We were back in Moapa before Brooklynn graduated.
Steve lost his job that year. He got other work in Caliente and we moved to live in a hotel with him for a few months. It became apparent I needed to work. I had been out of the workforce for 6 years doing the stay home mom gig. That was harder than you'd imagine. It takes a toll on your self worth to not have everyday professional validation.
January 2012 I got the HR manager job at Genpak in Cedar City. I moved home. Steve soon followed.
Steve got a construction manager job at a mine in Milford and we lived happily ever after for.. well... 2 months. Steve's estranged son came to live with us in May of 2012. That was an eventful year, filled with... well... filled.
I left Steve June 2013. We were separated until December 31 when Steve needed support to go through intensive drug rehab.
While I went back to Steve's house to support him, Riley and his fiance' Erica moved into the house I was renting. Brooklynn was still there.
After Steve was stable, I moved back in with the big kids, and 'viola we were all in the same house at the same time.
Riley was planning a wedding.. then Riley's dog had 8 puppies. It's a duplex so there are 2 people that live downstairs. Our house at any given moment had 21 heartbeats in it. mostly dogs, but 9 people.. up and down.. and 7 cars. holy smokes.
So, I just turned 43. The new news is I'm unemployed. I've divorced my 4th husband. I have 2 kids from my first husband and 2 kids from my last husband. I've re enrolled in college. I swear if I had some of the privileged and opportunity some women have had, I would be president of the united states. But I have fought for all my education (self taught). I have earned every promotion. I had a difficult childhood but don't blame my adult situation on my childhood. After about 30 we can't blame the years we pissed away on anyone but ourselves.
When I was just out of high school I made small town decisions in a small town. Husband #1.
After that, I went to California for a bit. (3 months) Mostly running away, but really I always thought of myself as a gypsy born 7 centuries too late. I wanted to see what else was out there, so I set out for wide open spaces. Several other times in my life, I have also set out for new places and new experiences.. I always end up home, but that doesn't stop the wunderlust.
I got a good job that offered to transfer me home. I took the offer and came back to St. George. I realized what I wanted was stability and I quickly married a very good friend. He turned out to be a very good friend, and still is. Not a very good husband (at the time) though. #2. We were married a year and a half. Parted as friends, still friends.
My plan then was to take care of myself and my kids. But I met a person who my family loved and I thought was fun. He was interesting and he really fit a social interaction need I had been missing in my life. After 6 months I realized fun people are not fun to marry. I should have had the marriage annulled, but he was diagnosed with MS and he needed to stay on my insurance until he could get medical to cover his disease. We passed the time we could annul it.
Too many things went wrong in the last marriage, but a girl with a personal resume like mine divorcing a 4th time is sort of cliche, so I hung in there. I do love my babies, though and I believe a mamma gets the babies she's supposed to have.
I worked really hard at my last job, but I was in over my head. The culture was really hard and they had years and years of culture that I could not overcome. I'm happy to have a break and look for other options for my professional future.
So... plan for husband #5. Not in the immediate future. The only people that really care if you get married anymore are the mormons. I think I'll just let someone amazing be part of my life for a while... and let life happen. I stopped seeking to find and let myself be found. I'm going to just sit still.
I'm not so sure I'm going to turn out like I thought I would. I do know I have 2 successful adult children who despite my gypsy mothering (moving 15 times in their child hood life time - not exaggerating) turned out really REALLY well. My son just married a wonderful woman who I am so happy to have as a daughter in law. My daughter is dating a very nice man who I would be proud to call a son. I will be pleased as punch the day either of them make me a Grandma. My daughter said today, Grandma Lori sounds so.... weird. I said, I just want to be Grandma.
My little kids are adjusting to mom's house and daddy's house. The biggest challenge is arriving at bedtime with the proper comfy blankets. I do know these little kids are nothing like the big kids.
I have accepted (for the first time in my life) that the rest of my life will be in Cedar City. I don't have any illusions of being anywhere else. Reminds me of a song from high school. big dreams in a small town. Can't remember the artist.
Anyways.. theme for this "chapter" in my life is give only to the things that return in kind. Everyone has their trials, but no ones are more important to me than mine. I have reached the ripe old age of "selfish" endeavors for the good of my own family. I have tried selflessness and all that got me was 4 divorces, a few friendly betrayals and a boatload of people I do NOT like seeing at walmart.
Ok. that's all for now. I know.. there isn't anyone following blogs anymore, right. So I'll probably have to copy and past this into a medium the people that really "follow" me can get to it.
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